Comes over me often. Mostly when another one leaves, not taking me with. Feeling so unwanted and somewhat unworthy somehow. Not so much pathetic as I used to feel. Just unwanted. Maybe wanted for that which doesn't matter. Oh well. So be it. It's gotta be for a good reason, though I'm unable to see as I haven't been given the ability to see that far out, for it's not for me to see, else I'd see.
Carolina G.
I'm in the middle...
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Selling Gifts???
Okay I understand that our system of living is capitalistic planet wide, however, this does not mean it is right.
Right in the sense that it feels comfortable to me. That it seems logical to me. That is makes sense... to me.
Yes, it is all about me.
Because I am the viewer. I am the only one who is going to know what it is to be me.
So if I do things because others do them, then I am not doing me, they are. And that's dumb.
All this time I've been trying to figure out how to make my gifts available to whomever might enjoy them and want them for the taking. For the appreciating. But by the means of money. Understanding that I have to provide for my family and self. That I have to pay for things that go along with sharing these "gifts".
I designed a model for putting on shows for the public. I would base the ticket prices on the cost to put complete shows on. Including cost of living expenses for all involved. I'd also be able to offer tickets at no cost for some. I felt this might even give others the chance to give to other through me in a manner of speaking.
I can not sell myself. I can not sell what does not belong to me. This body does not belong to me to sell. Not in the monetary standards of pricing. This body is but a tool for the work of serving in the ways that I serve best.
I am watching the system crash around me, and people continue selling the last of what they can for the last of however long it will matter for.
Some things should be for free. What I'm good at is key to what I can offer up as sacrifice. Sacrificing time and energy is all we have to offer. Today we sell our time and energy. Sold to pay for our living expenses. Some not so much but whatever, were talkin bout me here. I don't know them and so what they do is not for me to ponder upon.
It is not me who will provide for my family, it is inevitability that will decide.
I will develop my gifts for the presenting. I will continue into the future watching it wash over me..... I shift, I sway and move together with it, my partner in this talent show.
Right in the sense that it feels comfortable to me. That it seems logical to me. That is makes sense... to me.
Yes, it is all about me.
Because I am the viewer. I am the only one who is going to know what it is to be me.
So if I do things because others do them, then I am not doing me, they are. And that's dumb.
All this time I've been trying to figure out how to make my gifts available to whomever might enjoy them and want them for the taking. For the appreciating. But by the means of money. Understanding that I have to provide for my family and self. That I have to pay for things that go along with sharing these "gifts".
I designed a model for putting on shows for the public. I would base the ticket prices on the cost to put complete shows on. Including cost of living expenses for all involved. I'd also be able to offer tickets at no cost for some. I felt this might even give others the chance to give to other through me in a manner of speaking.
I can not sell myself. I can not sell what does not belong to me. This body does not belong to me to sell. Not in the monetary standards of pricing. This body is but a tool for the work of serving in the ways that I serve best.
I am watching the system crash around me, and people continue selling the last of what they can for the last of however long it will matter for.
Some things should be for free. What I'm good at is key to what I can offer up as sacrifice. Sacrificing time and energy is all we have to offer. Today we sell our time and energy. Sold to pay for our living expenses. Some not so much but whatever, were talkin bout me here. I don't know them and so what they do is not for me to ponder upon.
It is not me who will provide for my family, it is inevitability that will decide.
I will develop my gifts for the presenting. I will continue into the future watching it wash over me..... I shift, I sway and move together with it, my partner in this talent show.
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