My wants are so easily heard by me. I don't even have to listen closely, it's a yelling, commanding sense of "common sense". So easily it's common to think or agree with others whom believe that to NOT listen to myself, would be the backwards or crazy choice. Yet my current struggle lays in finding understanding on how it is that I'm usually wrong, sufferably wrong.
But does that mean if I only listen and obey the voice of God and do only his loving, giving, selfless will... I'll never suffer? It can't be, because look at Jesus' life, he was perfect in his obedience and STILL had to experience suffering.
So maybe suffering is not the indication of wrong choices at all? Maybe the only way to know if I'm wrong is to trust that God will lead me back. And that suffering is sometimes just good old plain old fashioned... necessary.
Because if I can't take credit for anything good happening to me, then I also can't take responsibility for what may seem to myself and others, as faulty life choices.
Someone tells me that I was wrong to listen to my heart, it wanting to love a boy into a man whom grew into a person I never knew he always was. Mean, cold, hurtful, dismissive and rejectful of my 'love'. But true LOVE is not a burden. Though many people err in making their supposed love a thing to fear as it's actually a sea of expectations and wants. I know my focus was on NOT doing this very thing, yet still ended up where I am. Wondering if I did somethin wrong.
Listening with a weakened heart to a person whom doesn't understand that the Bible confuses the old with the new, telling me that God said the heart is 'evil', (Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?)
But yet I know that Jesus saved me from that past reality and I can trust my heart because God made it. But then again, God is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow...
Is it the responsibility of the deceived to worry about not being deceived? Yes. It must be, else Jesus wouldn't always teach that wisdom is preparing and knowing when and how to react.
So here is my reaction. I know and trust that my love was pure and selfless. Therefore my suffering stops here and now. BECAUSE this suffering is only my own failed understanding of what my father's will is.
Which is to LOVE, uncontrollably... today, tomorrow and yesterday. :-)
Ahhh. Thank God I finally understand that. Love will lead you there. God is the king of my heart and I don't care what the Bible says in regards to that because their is nothing like having his living spirit with me to council me into all truths.
Thank you Jesus for leaving your holy ghost with us, for us to follow. It is work and work is hard and sometimes leaves one suffering or tired, but this work gives me living waters to quench my thursting soul.
Amen...
But does that mean if I only listen and obey the voice of God and do only his loving, giving, selfless will... I'll never suffer? It can't be, because look at Jesus' life, he was perfect in his obedience and STILL had to experience suffering.
So maybe suffering is not the indication of wrong choices at all? Maybe the only way to know if I'm wrong is to trust that God will lead me back. And that suffering is sometimes just good old plain old fashioned... necessary.
Because if I can't take credit for anything good happening to me, then I also can't take responsibility for what may seem to myself and others, as faulty life choices.
Someone tells me that I was wrong to listen to my heart, it wanting to love a boy into a man whom grew into a person I never knew he always was. Mean, cold, hurtful, dismissive and rejectful of my 'love'. But true LOVE is not a burden. Though many people err in making their supposed love a thing to fear as it's actually a sea of expectations and wants. I know my focus was on NOT doing this very thing, yet still ended up where I am. Wondering if I did somethin wrong.
Listening with a weakened heart to a person whom doesn't understand that the Bible confuses the old with the new, telling me that God said the heart is 'evil', (Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?)
But yet I know that Jesus saved me from that past reality and I can trust my heart because God made it. But then again, God is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow...
Is it the responsibility of the deceived to worry about not being deceived? Yes. It must be, else Jesus wouldn't always teach that wisdom is preparing and knowing when and how to react.
So here is my reaction. I know and trust that my love was pure and selfless. Therefore my suffering stops here and now. BECAUSE this suffering is only my own failed understanding of what my father's will is.
Which is to LOVE, uncontrollably... today, tomorrow and yesterday. :-)
Ahhh. Thank God I finally understand that. Love will lead you there. God is the king of my heart and I don't care what the Bible says in regards to that because their is nothing like having his living spirit with me to council me into all truths.
Thank you Jesus for leaving your holy ghost with us, for us to follow. It is work and work is hard and sometimes leaves one suffering or tired, but this work gives me living waters to quench my thursting soul.
Amen...
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