I was watching my favorite movie of all time yesterday, Gone With The Wind. When I noticed Scarlett always kept her wedding ring on, even after the man she married, whom she held no true care for, had passed away. So the act was not in memory of him nor was it for sake of tradition, as her major concern throughout the entire movie was to be with an unavailable man, and she expressed her unconcern for things of this nature in another scene while everyone recited prayers, her mind was on this man.
I thought for a minute and remembered another woman, Wendy Williams, a day time talk show host. Not ever do I choose to watch this show, let alone any show, TV just isn't my thing. But one day sitting and watching it for a minute because my grammy was viewing, she was making such a big fuss over how horrible she felt not having her wedding ring on in public. She even took a black marker and drew one on her finger. Wow. This woman has breast implants, wears false eyelashes, tons of makeup and holds a great concern for her fashion and appearance, even outside of the show, so my take on her is that she is extremely concerned with the thoughts and expressions of those around her. The opinion of others is a heavy weight on her.
While not understanding her expressions of great concern for her missing wedding ring, my initial thought was "how dumb", but I didn't really understand why it was so important to her and to many women, till now. To be single is a matter of great concern and misery to these women. Not solely for the reasons of being lonely or in need of companionship, but for what having a husband represents to them. Once one husband doesn't work out, for whatever reason, you can bet another will be soon to come. That's just how it is for them.
I'm a single thirty one year old woman right now. My wedding finger used to burn and itch for the want of having a husband. For the need of having what I do not have, and feeling "wanted" like some women. I often compared myself to others who are married, I wanted so badly to be "off the market". Then I stopped that shit. Realizing so many people are trapped in a failing and abusive marriage, I'd be much wiser to appreciate my solo stroll time right now because I understand true marriage as an unmistakable occurrence between two hearts. It is not something that happens to everyone or at least not everyone can have enough sight to see it and feel it when it does happen.
For a very short time, most likely less than six months, I wore an engagement ring when I was eighteen. It felt people looked upon me with a lessened judgement in the manner that I had a baby with me and it's openly expected and viewed with less negativity in our societies around the world that a girl should be married if she has a child.
I realize that to so many women, wearing a wedding ring is significant in that it creates a sense of being "taken". Whatever that really feels like, I do not know. But I do know the opposing feeling of being available at a later age and how this represents a somewhat difficult time in life for so many of us. Just like Wendy, these women need to feel the false sense of security that this object represents to them.
I find most women of the "superficial" nature care greatly for a very expensive ring. It holds stature to the other superficial people of their little circles. People like Beyonce whom have people create hundred thousand dollar barbie's to boast about. To these people marriage is very appearance oriented first and foremost.
I too held this unaware manner of walking though life, like a zombie. But then something changed, I was challenged and so had to clear myself of "dogma", and research and internal searching brought me into awareness.
After watching the movie "Blood Diamond", I decided I'd never wear a diamond again. And still this remains the fact. If ever I get married, a humble band will serve, then again, I might just not wear a ring at all. I'm very appreciative to see this truth, and have had this realization about women and their wedding rings. Even some men hold this same manner of mentality. Superficiality is a great blinder indeed. To people whom think a marriage is about the wedding, the rings and the parties, a lasting marriage is not the goal.
I know not all women whom wear a wedding ring with a diamond are under this mind frame, but they are sure not under my own frame either.
This is the reason I share my views, because most people just haven't thought of things in this manner to see the connections or the like. To make us more aware is my goal. To help us all grow into what we say we want to be more of. But hey, to each his own, do your thang people. You have to live with yourselves.
I thought for a minute and remembered another woman, Wendy Williams, a day time talk show host. Not ever do I choose to watch this show, let alone any show, TV just isn't my thing. But one day sitting and watching it for a minute because my grammy was viewing, she was making such a big fuss over how horrible she felt not having her wedding ring on in public. She even took a black marker and drew one on her finger. Wow. This woman has breast implants, wears false eyelashes, tons of makeup and holds a great concern for her fashion and appearance, even outside of the show, so my take on her is that she is extremely concerned with the thoughts and expressions of those around her. The opinion of others is a heavy weight on her.
While not understanding her expressions of great concern for her missing wedding ring, my initial thought was "how dumb", but I didn't really understand why it was so important to her and to many women, till now. To be single is a matter of great concern and misery to these women. Not solely for the reasons of being lonely or in need of companionship, but for what having a husband represents to them. Once one husband doesn't work out, for whatever reason, you can bet another will be soon to come. That's just how it is for them.
I'm a single thirty one year old woman right now. My wedding finger used to burn and itch for the want of having a husband. For the need of having what I do not have, and feeling "wanted" like some women. I often compared myself to others who are married, I wanted so badly to be "off the market". Then I stopped that shit. Realizing so many people are trapped in a failing and abusive marriage, I'd be much wiser to appreciate my solo stroll time right now because I understand true marriage as an unmistakable occurrence between two hearts. It is not something that happens to everyone or at least not everyone can have enough sight to see it and feel it when it does happen.
For a very short time, most likely less than six months, I wore an engagement ring when I was eighteen. It felt people looked upon me with a lessened judgement in the manner that I had a baby with me and it's openly expected and viewed with less negativity in our societies around the world that a girl should be married if she has a child.
I realize that to so many women, wearing a wedding ring is significant in that it creates a sense of being "taken". Whatever that really feels like, I do not know. But I do know the opposing feeling of being available at a later age and how this represents a somewhat difficult time in life for so many of us. Just like Wendy, these women need to feel the false sense of security that this object represents to them.
I find most women of the "superficial" nature care greatly for a very expensive ring. It holds stature to the other superficial people of their little circles. People like Beyonce whom have people create hundred thousand dollar barbie's to boast about. To these people marriage is very appearance oriented first and foremost.
I too held this unaware manner of walking though life, like a zombie. But then something changed, I was challenged and so had to clear myself of "dogma", and research and internal searching brought me into awareness.
After watching the movie "Blood Diamond", I decided I'd never wear a diamond again. And still this remains the fact. If ever I get married, a humble band will serve, then again, I might just not wear a ring at all. I'm very appreciative to see this truth, and have had this realization about women and their wedding rings. Even some men hold this same manner of mentality. Superficiality is a great blinder indeed. To people whom think a marriage is about the wedding, the rings and the parties, a lasting marriage is not the goal.
I know not all women whom wear a wedding ring with a diamond are under this mind frame, but they are sure not under my own frame either.
This is the reason I share my views, because most people just haven't thought of things in this manner to see the connections or the like. To make us more aware is my goal. To help us all grow into what we say we want to be more of. But hey, to each his own, do your thang people. You have to live with yourselves.
